I Imagine

As I sit here, I imagine the vapors of my breath drifting up into the infinite ocean of the sky painting it with the tears of my sorrows.

I Imagine what it would feel like to feel vibrant, healthy, unrestricted, and pain-free, in my body.

And what it would be like to love myself, I mean really love myself. The kind of love in which every cell of my being thunderously proclaims you are beautiful and loved just as you are.

And, that space of untethered inner peace and acceptance is no longer just a fairy tale, but a lived reality, even in the moments of greatest suffering.

I imagine what it would be like when my imperfections became my greatest strengths.

When my scars become medals of honor as a testament to my humanity and courage.

When my inner beauty is as valued as my outer beauty.

I imagine a time in which our fears are embraced as the guides that they are.

A time where we are no longer hiding behind a costume or masks for fear of being truly seen and felt; for fear of feeling the fierceness and truth of how powerful we really are.

I imagine a time in which you actually dance like nobody's watching because nobody is watching, since they are so surrendered to their own ecstatic expression. And if they are watching it is because they are so overwhelmed and inspired by how beautiful you are.

I imagine a time when we are working together as a species to honor the earth as our mother, to tend and care for her as if she were our own.

The power of a relationship

The power of love

 In seeing and feeling ourselves through the other we will not only be shown our inherent basic goodness, but we will also witness the shadow aspects of ourselves that have been lurking within the unconscious yearning to be reclaimed and re-integrated.

When faced with those that show us our shadow do we run from them or do we make a choice to dance with and actually be in connection and communication with that which we fear most about ourselves?

I want to make a commitment to surrender to being vulnerable and learning to love the parts that even intensely polarize me to the other. I have realized that this polarity is a reflection of the resistance I have in accepting myself in someway. And in that polarity I have discovered that there is incredible wisdom and depths of connection just waiting to be tasted.

At the base, our “goals" in love won’t be truly realized without a simultaneous devotion to the path of unconditional self-love. For that is a gateway to unfathomable connection and sacred union. And one day you may discover that the actual realization of your goals in love, are that there are no goals. And, it is your complete surrender to being fully and completely with whatever aspect of your experience and relationship that is arising to be explored that will actually birth the connection you have been searching for all along.

Relationships and validation

I recognize that there are aspects of my self that feel much more strengthened, accepted, and empowered, when their Existence is validated by the other. Within the construct of my self I have many wounded parts still seeking outwardly for their right to live, love be loved, and be celebrated. These parts deeply fear that they will be abandoned if they truly allow themselves to be loved, cared for, and supported in actualizing their most authentic in the moment expression. They fear the inevitable death of the world and circumstances that have allowed them to stay small, hide, and not take full responsibility for creating the experience they are having.

When I resist relationship I resist connection to myself, source, and all those that I dance with on the path of life. I deny myself the awareness, and in that denial of awareness, I relinquish the nourishment and love that is available to me in every moment through the realization that at the base, the experience of my “self” is never truly separated from source.

It's hard to just accept that in every moment the connection we desire is available to us. Can we sit in full appreciation and welcoming of our aloneness while noticing the simultaneous arising of the interconnection and inherent communion of all life?

On Love, Relationships, and Being: An Unfolding Dialogue

I’ve become aware of the fact that we grow with each person we meet, and simultaneously we sometimes don’t realize how we have been impacted, changed, or shaped by those that we connect with. I don’t think there are ever any chance meetings. It’s almost if we draw other people into our lives so we can see ourselves more clearly, so we can see that we are inherently source. We want our uniqueness to be celebrated and we don’t want to share in the celebration of our human experience alone.

Sometimes, when left to our own devices we don’t realize that all experience is relationship. We deny ourselves certain experiences because we don’t feel it’s the relationship that we should be having or we don’t recognize it because it doesn’t emulate what we are familiar with.

We search for those we can get messy with, those people that we can be completely human with and expose the parts of ourselves that are both fertile and overflowing with great wisdom and nourishment even in the most profound pain and ecstasy. We look for another to open the doorway to our soul, to expose the incredible power of our true nature. So much of the time we fear opening the doorway ourselves. We want a partner to walk with us into the places that we couldn’t bear to be alone.

I feel that it is my duty to open myself to “learning” each person I meet inside and out and to open myself to being truly and deeply felt. What are we truly afraid of when we are vulnerable and have the opportunity to deeply connect?What are we really afraid to see and feel?

When someone takes the initiative and shows a sincere interest and desire to connect and nourish the seeds of relationship by taking the time to get to know me inside and out, I feel not only deeply honored, but that I am essentially loved, seen, and that I matter.